What now?

Ann Patchett

What now? is a book based on a commencement address Ann Patchett gave for Sarah Lawrence University, which happens to be her Alma Mater. 

 What now? delves into the process of choosing our path, our direction, and our focus, when the path, direction, and focus are completely unknown.  Through personal anecdotes, Patchett is able to normalize the feeling of uncertainty we face at many times throughout our lives.  

Life is full of transitions, whether it’s graduating from high school or college, choosing or changing careers, or easing into the next phase of our maturity.  Nobody’s exempt from change!  What now?’s tiny physical size is oxymoronic to its significant, inspiring, and uplifting message.  

Patchett is able to switch the perspective of life’s crossroads being scary, unclear, and negative, to making these crossroads full of unlimited potential and possibility. A great little gift for anybody entering a transitional phase of their life. 

Some of my favorite quotes from this book; 

I learned the most from sticking with my dream even when all signs told me it was time to let go. 

You have to be willing to accept not what you wanted to have happen but what happens. 

(Regarding Alice Ilchman, president of Sarah Lawrence when Patchett attended)
There was always the feeling when I was near her that I was in the presence of a tremendous energy source, the kind of fire that comes from the perfect balance of intelligence and compassion.

The book has great black & white photos throughout to drive the points home. It’s an enjoyable, pleasurable little book worth revisiting upon the commencement of any new venture.

So what is holding me back?

On one side, there IS the little fact that I try to create an Amazon link to the books I’m recommending. (Something I’ll be happy to pass on to an assistant once I get one!) So that slows me down - but honestly, the time it takes to do that is less than 10 minutes. Well, ok, if I don’t get sidetracked and browse Amazon for an hour or two in the process! Heh. And another block is the fact that the blog sort of crashed last year, and I had to re-create everything from scratch. That was pretty frustrating.

But the main thing that is stopping me, is that I feel that I have to write a book review to post… and it’s got to be a “GOOD” review, too.  Long, detailed, and thorough. Those quick notes that I send to friends recommending a book just won’t make my high internal standards!  (Also known as, “perfectionism.”) I was getting some coaching from a professional speaker earlier this year, Deb DiSandro, and she shared with me an absolutely wonderful concept. Brilliant in its simplicity. Are you ready? Here goes;

Done is better than perfect.

Yup, that’s it! I used that motto to complete my first ebook. And to get moving on some other projects. But my blogs? There they sat, slowly withering away. Sigh.

I love reading.
I love writing.
I love writing ABOUT reading!
I love recommending books.

And I am hereby committing to getting my Book Blog rolling! (Thanks for the nudge, honey!)

Of course, the funniest part about all of this, in an ironic way and not a tickle-your-ribs way, is that I give this guidance ALL THE TIME to my clients!!  I was working just this week with a woman who has a sporadic work schedule. Since her schedule varies from week to week, she hasn’t been able to incorporate walking into her routine - although it’s something she really enjoys and wants to stick to consistently. We explored what was getting in her way, and the primary obstacle was that she couldn’t do it every other day, because her work schedule varied. And “they say” to do it 3 times a week, spread over the week.

I asked her to consider this; If she walked Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, for 6 months, and didn’t walk at all during that time from Weds.-Sat, would she expect to benefit from that walking? And she said, well yes, that would probably still make a pretty big difference! Even if she didn’t “follow the rules.”

So the moral of this story is, whether it’s posting to your blog, walking, or spending time playing with the kids - oh heck there’s several morals! The morals of this story are; 

1. It doesn’t have to be “perfect” - “very good” is good enough! (And done is better than perfect, anyways.)
2. Don’t make a project seem bigger than it really is.
3. Give yourself permission to break the rules - you don’t “have” to do it on regularly scheduled days! Just doing it on occassion, over time, will work! The key is to keep doing it - as often as possible. We can only regularly schedule so many thing in our lives, before overwhelm kicks in… and most of us are already way beyond that point!
4. Get support in doing it. Walk with a buddy. Call a friend for feedback and encouragement. Arrange a play date with other mothers at the park. My husband nudged me in a very positive and playful way to get a post up TODAY - and here it is! Gotta love that guy. 
(Of course, hiring a coach is always a great support structure, and I know a great one who’d be happy to help you out!) 
5. Reframe the job/task/event. I thought that posting to my blog meant a long, “perfect” post. My client thought walking meant doing it 3 times a week, every other day. Or bust. Let go of the “perfection or bust” thought trap, because that just holds us back and keeps us from even getting started!

As for me, I’m leaving perfection behind.  Don’t let me know if you find any typos. I’ll be too busy reading a great book for my next post to worry about it!

You’ve GOT to Read This Book!

55 People Tell the Story of the Book That Changed Their Life

Jack Canfield and Gay Hendricks

As an avid, compulsive, and addicted reader, I’ve always been a sucker for books on books. It’s crazy! Why can’t I just eliminate the middleman, and just read the book itself, instead of reading a book ABOUT other books? Well, I’ll tell you why. Because books on books also give you stories, stories about how books and writings have impacted other readers. And it’s a well-known fact that human beings love stories. I’m only human. Therefore deductive logic (or is it inductive? I’m so confused!) leads to the conclusion that I love books on books.

The great thing about this book is that most of the people who submitted stories on books that profoundly impacted their lives, are also writers. So it’s almost a double-whammy - when you read a story in this one that speaks to your soul, not only do you want to read the book suggested - you also want to seek out everything written by the author, and read THEIR stuff too. Yes, this book can get a compulsive reader into very deep “TBR List” trouble, if you know what I mean! 

That being said, let me share a technique with you for “HOW” to read this book.  I read it as I usually do - marking passages or book titles I wanted to read, with little post-it flags, and going through from cover-to-cover. Also making a “mental note” of the authors (of the stories in the book) I really liked and wanted to sample, too.

Who am I kidding? I had to be mental in the first place, to think a “mental note” would ever work for me!! So I’m gonna have to go through this one again, almost cover-to-cover to get what I want out of it. I’d like to prevent that from happening to you. So to save you that additional step, here’s what to do. Grab a notebook when you start this book. You don’t have to read it in a linear fashion, you can easily skip around because there is no continuity between the stories. So either start at the beginning, or pick a chapter to start with. Put the title of that chapter (the author’s name) at the top of a sheet of paper. As you read their bio and then the story about the book that influenced them, jot down any titles you might want to read (or reread). I also would put a couple memory-trigger words there, if there’s something about the book that especially piques your interest.  THEN - as you finish the chapter by that author, and this is important, do not skip this step!! - rate in the top right-hand corner, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much you want to read the suggested books.

Believe me, even if the first few are 8 or 9 or even 10, you’ll realize very quickly that this book is chock-full of awesome suggestions.  So by the time I was done, even with making my “mental” notes and all, I had no idea where to begin. What recommendation did I want to start first?  There were so many good ones! I remember thinking (as I made my “mental notes,” har har), “Oooh this one sounds really good, I’d like to read that one very soon. It would really be applicable to where I am right now…”

 And you got it - my mental notebook is blank. So, I’m stuck. I reread books more and more as I age, so I have no doubt that I’m going to read this one again. (And do it right, the next time.)  However, there’s already a tottering stack of “To Be Read” books on my desk, right now, and many of them are library books thus they have “expiration” dates that I have to read them by!  So back this one goes to the library, to await patiently the time when I can give it the attention and tlc it needs.

And I’m throwing away my mental notebook right now…

Writing Without The Muse

50 Beginning Exercises for the Creative Writer

by Beth Baruch Joselow

If you’re a writer and would like some creative thinking exercises, or if you’re just trying to add a little creativity to your life, this is a great little book. With 50 one- or two-page exercises, you can either read it front to back and do the writing exercises that appeal to you, or trust fate to guide you to just the exercise you need, flip the book open, and do the one it opens to.

The exercises are all very brief, which is great for me. When I procrastinate on my writing, reading is one of my favorite diversions!  So I will pick up a book on writing, and then I’m “working on writing,” right?  (Correct answer: Wrong.) Having this book in my possession means I can no longer use that excuse - I pick it up, take just a few minutes to select a writing exercise, and get going. 

In fact, it helps far beyond doing the simple writing exercise in the book. Usually this exercise is enough to “prime the pump,” and after doing the selected exercise for a very short time, I can suddenly focus on the writing that I was putting off, in the first place!

An sample of one of the exercises is called “Every Day for a Week.” The instructions are simple - every day for a week, write about a very simple experience you have every day (such as waking up or eating breakfast). After you’ve done it for a week, you compare the articles and observe and reflect whether your descriptions have changed, whether you notice anything about the activity you hadn’t noticed before, or even,  whether you do things differently now that your awareness and perception has shifted! 

Joselow’s book is quick, inspiring, and has definitely helped bump me right over my writer’s block on occasion. A great little addition to any writer’s library.

And Other Secrets To Success, One Relationship At A Time

By Keith Ferrazzi with Tahl Raz

I was reading this book during a speedreading course I took last month (oh shush up), and my instructor asked what I did for a living. When I told him that I was a coach, he said, “Oh, well I can see how you’d need a book like that.” It didn’t occur to me at the time to challenge his comment, so I will do that here. What I could’ve done was asked him how he’d found his mechanic, his accountant, even his wife. How do we go about finding people to work with, to hire, or even to socialize with? Through our network! Most of us would much rather take our car to somebody who comes to us through a glowing recommendation of a trusted friend or acquaintance, rather than doing a random “I Feel Lucky” shot out after our fingers do the walking.

Ferrazzi’s book on networking is literally chock-full of fantastic tips and information on building powerful, beneficial relationships. He stresses that you must give, give, give, and give a little bit more, and then things will begin flowing back to you. Focusing on how you can be helpful to others is a key factor on creating a beneficial relationship. This isn’t shallow and conniving because of the fact that sincerity is there - you really must want to help people in whatever reasonable ways you can (and sometimes, perhaps go out of your way too).

Many examples are given on how to create powerful intentional relationships. I love his idea of “aspirational contacts.” These are people well “above” you and/or your network, who you’d love to meet because they are inspirational or successful (or both). “Anybody from heads of state and media moguls, to artists and actors, to people others speak highly of.” And people laugh at the idea - “But the results speak for themselves.” I’ll sign up! I’m adding Oprah to my aspirational contact list, because meeting her is already on my dream list, but I’m adding some local and industry successes to my aspirational list too. I’ll let you know when the Oprah contact pans out.

He also coins the phrase (to my knowledge, at least) marketing wonks. How can any book that uses the phrase marketing wonks NOT hold your interest? Ferrazzi’s style is readable, flows well, is peppered with amusing remarks, and seriously kids, this book is FULL of information. One reading isn’t enough. Read it, give it a few months to jel (or gel? not Orajel), and read it again.

Quantum Leaps is one of the most intriguing, and most difficult, books I’ve read over the past year.

And reread.

A book like this takes several readings to even begin to comprehend, especially for somebody who is just learning about the details of the reality of quantum physics. Taking reality to a subatomic level and the violation of Newtonian Laws and our high-school educations can be mind boggling.

A quantum leap refers to the ability of subatomic particles to interact in unpredictable ways; for instance for an electron to actually be in two places simultaneously. As Shelton describes it, “The laws that govern the classical realm are in direct opposition to how things work at the subatomic level of the universe.” Instead, subatomic interactions are unexplainable, unpredictable, and perhaps even most perplexingly of all, affected by our intentions. Shelton does a fabulous job of explaining all of this, much better than I can, but it does take awhile for a person to really begin to wrap their mind around this information. Fans of Stephen Hawking will definitely have an advantage in comprehension of this complex book.

The seven skills are divided into two categories. The psychological skills include

• Quantum seeing
• Quantum thinking
• Quantum feeling

The spiritual skills include

• Quantum knowing
• Quantum acting
• Quantum trusting
• Quantum being

Each skill has an entire chapter devoted to its description, application, and further development.

The seven-page bibliography at the end illustrates two points – the difficulty of the material, and also the exceptional study and research that went into compiling the information in this book.

For those of you ready to explore, and perhaps even accept, a new paradigm as to how interconnected we all actually are, grab a copy of Shelton’s book and watch your thinking expand.