The Mental Reframe
This morning I was challenged by my husband. He started a new blog for a community theatre company he co-founded (Riverview Theatre Company). In a week he’s put up 5 blogs. Let’s see… I officially started this blog about 2 years ago - and I’ve posted less times than he has!! Not for lack of reading, mind you. Here it is only halfway through 2008, and I’m about to log my 70th book for the year. So that’s not it. Not for lack of inspiration - I’ve got sheets and sheets of book blog ideas to publish.
So what is holding me back?
On one side, there IS the little fact that I try to create an Amazon link to the books I’m recommending. (Something I’ll be happy to pass on to an assistant once I get one!) So that slows me down - but honestly, the time it takes to do that is less than 10 minutes. Well, ok, if I don’t get sidetracked and browse Amazon for an hour or two in the process! Heh. And another block is the fact that the blog sort of crashed last year, and I had to re-create everything from scratch. That was pretty frustrating.
But the main thing that is stopping me, is that I feel that I have to write a book review to post… and it’s got to be a “GOOD” review, too. Long, detailed, and thorough. Those quick notes that I send to friends recommending a book just won’t make my high internal standards! (Also known as, “perfectionism.”) I was getting some coaching from a professional speaker earlier this year, Deb DiSandro, and she shared with me an absolutely wonderful concept. Brilliant in its simplicity. Are you ready? Here goes;
Done is better than perfect.
Yup, that’s it! I used that motto to complete my first ebook. And to get moving on some other projects. But my blogs? There they sat, slowly withering away. Sigh.
I love reading.
I love writing.
I love writing ABOUT reading!
I love recommending books.
And I am hereby committing to getting my Book Blog rolling! (Thanks for the nudge, honey!)
Of course, the funniest part about all of this, in an ironic way and not a tickle-your-ribs way, is that I give this guidance ALL THE TIME to my clients!! I was working just this week with a woman who has a sporadic work schedule. Since her schedule varies from week to week, she hasn’t been able to incorporate walking into her routine - although it’s something she really enjoys and wants to stick to consistently. We explored what was getting in her way, and the primary obstacle was that she couldn’t do it every other day, because her work schedule varied. And “they say” to do it 3 times a week, spread over the week.
I asked her to consider this; If she walked Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, for 6 months, and didn’t walk at all during that time from Weds.-Sat, would she expect to benefit from that walking? And she said, well yes, that would probably still make a pretty big difference! Even if she didn’t “follow the rules.”
So the moral of this story is, whether it’s posting to your blog, walking, or spending time playing with the kids - oh heck there’s several morals! The morals of this story are;
1. It doesn’t have to be “perfect” - “very good” is good enough! (And done is better than perfect, anyways.)
2. Don’t make a project seem bigger than it really is.
3. Give yourself permission to break the rules - you don’t “have” to do it on regularly scheduled days! Just doing it on occassion, over time, will work! The key is to keep doing it - as often as possible. We can only regularly schedule so many thing in our lives, before overwhelm kicks in… and most of us are already way beyond that point!
4. Get support in doing it. Walk with a buddy. Call a friend for feedback and encouragement. Arrange a play date with other mothers at the park. My husband nudged me in a very positive and playful way to get a post up TODAY - and here it is! Gotta love that guy.
(Of course, hiring a coach is always a great support structure, and I know a great one who’d be happy to help you out!)
5. Reframe the job/task/event. I thought that posting to my blog meant a long, “perfect” post. My client thought walking meant doing it 3 times a week, every other day. Or bust. Let go of the “perfection or bust” thought trap, because that just holds us back and keeps us from even getting started!
As for me, I’m leaving perfection behind. Don’t let me know if you find any typos. I’ll be too busy reading a great book for my next post to worry about it!
August 24th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Wow…this is really insightful and helpful. I find myself with a great many ideas, but have a hard time getting them “on paper” because I want them done perfectly and so, these ideas rarely see the light of day. They just swim around in my mind endlessly. “Done is better than perfect”. I am going to repeat this to myself daily. Thanks for posting this.
-Meghan.